Managing Desires

We often speak about the effect our desires have on our behaviour. Desires that get fulfilled make place for new desires and those that go unfulfilled cause agitations in our minds. At the same time, to have no desires is not possible. So what should we do to break this endless cycle? We need to channelise our desires, divinise them or sublimate them - thereby freeing ourselves from their enslaving and compulsive nature. This is called desire management.

All desires spring from the basic desire for happiness. We all want pleasures, comfort, peace, love, thrills, satisfaction etc., which are all expressions of the desire for happiness. How then do we become truely happy? Which desires should be fulfilled? When? Why?

Here are some important guidelines from our scriptures:

1.  Give up illegitimate desires. Entertaining or fulfilling such desires leads to adharma and sorrow. For e.g., the desire for another's wealth could get us into trouble.

2.  Do not fulfil legitimate desires by illegitimate means, i.e., do not indulge in prohibited actions. For e.g., if one has a desire to own a TV, he should not fulfil it by stealing one from another's house.

3.  Fulfill legitimate desires by legitimate means. E.g. We can work hard, earn and procure the TV we desire.

4.   Perform selfless actions prompted by good, selfless desires. Initially they maybe few, forced, unnatural and reluctant but later they become a habit - enjoyable, fulfilling and natural. This also puts a break to satisfying selfish desires all the time. E.g. Giving in charity may initially be done reluctantly and against our natural inclination but could become deeply satistying and put a break to indulgence as one realises that the joy of giving is deeper than the joy of indulgence.

5.  Divinise all actions. All that we do could be done as an offering to the Lord. Then the results we get becomes His gift (prasad) to us. Our attachment to actions and insistence on the results naturally wanes. We begin to feel that we are an instrument in the hands of the Lord and that His divine grace flows through us in all we do and comes back to us as all we get.

Our scriptures are also a guide to life management. Our life is lived in the present - moment to moment, day by day, year after year. We do not really remember the days, months and years of our life. What we remember are certain moments that have left a deep impact on our minds. These maybe moments of awakening, tragedy, joy, triumph, realisation, silence, beauty, love etc.

We must therefore live every moment of our lives meaningfully, creatively or joyously so that our life becomes fulfilled and fun-filled. We must not waste or neglect the present or spend it in thoughtlessness. Let us make a dina-charya (daily plan) and a jivan-charya (life plan). Following it holds the power to transform our present and our entire life.

Author: Swami Tejomayananda, Chinmaya Mission

Photo credit: Alexis Fauvet on Unsplash

Learn more about Chinmaya Mission at our Youtube channel - Chinmaya Mission Mumbai

Follow us on Instagram @chinmayamissionmumbai